Battered wife syndrome
Posted by Paul Cox on November 4th, 2009
Several years ago, I made the acquaintance of a smart, pretty woman. She was reasonably well adjusted, hard working, loved her children, motivated, and had tons going for her.
She was also an abused wife of an alcoholic jerk.
It mystified me then, and still mystifies me, how people can get themselves into completely dysfunctional relationships and STAY in them for decades. Why don’t they do something? Why don’t they leave? Why can’t they break the cycle of abuse-apology-remorse-abuse-apology-remorse-abuse-apology-remorse?
I think of my friend, who was (thankfully) taking the steps needed to separate from her husband and get herself and her kids into a healthier place in their lives, and I just shake my head. How on earth could it have taken so long?
But you know… it’s easier to say that from the outside, and far harder to see it when you’re in the midst of this situation.
Let me tell you a story.
A supervisor in the FAA gets a phone call; a controller’s family member has died, and the controller needs to take the rest of the week off to deal with the aftermath of family death- funerals to plan, people coming to town, grieving, etc.
Unfortunately, the controller was scheduled for a mid shift (graveyard, from midnight to 8am) and so someone’s got to be forced into that shift. Nobody’s available on the day shift (because of understaffing, but that’s a different post) so they have to get someone to come in on their day off and work overtime.
The supervisor goes through the entire list of “volunteers” for overtime, but can’t get anyone to work it. This means it’s time to involuntarily force someone to work the shift. So the supervisor calls a guy on the list, and the guy is foolish enough to answer the phone call.
Supervisor tells the controller that he’s got OT on the first of his two days off. The controller says “well, that’s going to be tough, because I can’t make it in for that; I’m in another city, on vacation leave, over 1,000 miles away, and I won’t be home until my second day off.”
The supervisor tells the controller “well that’s not my problem, is it? You’re on the shift” and hangs up the phone.
A little more background info here; the NEXT guy on the involuntary list was sitting about 12 feet away from the supervisor at the time, so it could have been as easy as “okay, sorry, didn’t realize you were on vacation, let me get the next guy on the list” and ask him (and he was able to work it).
This almost seems too stupid, too cruel, and too uncaring to think that a supervisor (excuse me, a “front line manager”) would actually do it, right?
Except that it did happen, in my facility, in good old Seattle Center, just a couple of weeks ago.
(The controller was very wise; he just waited a couple of hours, called back in to work where a different supervisor was now in charge, explained the situation, and the much-smarter supervisor took care of the situation.)
And here’s the thing. When I was talking with some folks about this (and almost the entire facility has heard this story by now) one of the things that I said was how I don’t get it. On a personal level, I generally like the supervisor in question. He’s usually friendly, personable, and we chit-chat about stuff.
In other words, he’s usually not a colossal jerk. (Sorry, but there’s really no other way to put it.)
But here’s the thing- I heard myself, defending the supervisor, saying “80 percent of the time, he’s a reasonable guy, but every so often he pulls some incredibly stupid, mean stunt like this…”
And you know what? My friend, the abused wife, would say the same kind of thing about her husband- a guy who drank so much that by the age of 35 his liver was that of a 90-year old and who had a few arrests and several other visits from the cops on his rap sheet. “Oh, he’s not usually a bad guy….”
I tell this story not to embarrass the supervisor (though he should be ashamed of himself) or to put pressure on our facility managers to finally do something to rein the guy in (though they, along with previous managers, have let this kind of thing go with little or no correction in the past) but to illustrate something about controllers and NATCA.
In our relationship with the FAA, we’re all-too-often the battered spouse. We suffer from learned helplessness.
And one of the main things that you should know about learned helplessness is that it means that even when opportunity presents itself for someone to change their situation, they don’t capitalize on that opportunity. They continue to flail around helplessly.
Right now is not a time for NATCA and controllers to be sitting back, happy that we’ve gotten a contract and such. Right now is not the time to rest. Right now is the time to be driving forward, hard, and trying to break the cycle of abuse that we’ve been in.
And this goes for those on the management side of the house, too. FAA managers everywhere need to take this chance to get rid of, or at least seriously correct, those in their ranks who are abusive.
A start has been made. Guys like Joe Miniace and Bruce Johnson have been shunted off into side jobs with little power or responsibility (though why a notorious union-buster like Miniace is even still employed by the FAA is another one of life’s mysteries). But it’s time to do more; it’s time to set the agency onto a course where hard-nosed-but-FAIR managers are encouraged.
Many NATCAvists don’t mind a tough manager, so long as the manager is fair and not blatantly stupid. But stories like the one above are far too common in the FAA; I bet nearly every facility, large and small, has stories like that of managers and supervisors who are on minor power trips or are just plain jerks for unknown reasons.
If the FAA truly intends on dragging itself out of the bottom of the list of federal agencies to work for, now is the time to start drumming those managers either in line or out of the FAA.
November 4th, 2009 at 5:40 am
While I agree that the first supe could have handled this better, be careful what you ask for. There are agreements in place with NATCA that address overtime, and if you are saying that a supe can violate these by using common sense…
November 4th, 2009 at 6:21 am
oh agreements in place,just like the ones you FLMs have been violateing for years. when it screws the controllers you folks dont have a problem with it.thank god i spent my 29 years as a controller.
OG/ATCS retired
November 4th, 2009 at 6:32 am
“And this goes for those on the management side of the house, too. FAA managers everywhere need to take this chance to get rid of, or at least seriously correct, those in their ranks who are abusive.”
The FAAMA and all too many FAA “managers” are waiting in the weeds for another Republican president to dance another Blakey type two step on NATCA’s face Paul. Mini Chachi, that canoli aficionado Johnson, and too many of the FAA’s “higher skill set” showed their true colors at St Louis and beyond.
Will Babbitt force them to be collobarative to some degree…probably.
But what I see at least where I work, is a continued arrogance on mgmt’s part. FAA got rolled on this last CBA/pay settlement and they’re still smarting over it. And the allegedly smaller government maven Blakey, must have given the higher skill set some viagra or something, because they’ve proliferated like rabbitts. So there are plenty of them hanging around waiting for the political winds to shift again.
I won’t be around to see it thankfully.
November 4th, 2009 at 6:35 am
Longtimesupe,
This stupe was required to get the first AVAILABLE replacement. HE DID NOT. It was not possible for the controller to get to work, therefore the stupe did not do his job. Shocking. Common sense has nothing to do with this, the stupe failed and should be punished. He probably just patted himself on the back and thought what a great job he did.
November 4th, 2009 at 7:07 am
Clean house ??? Are you kidding me ??? At SCT the mindless idiotic list of inept supes is endless and guess what???waiting in the wings are more just like them kissing ass hoping they can become one too. Getting rid of these stupid FU%$S is a waste of time. Containing their role in decision making is the best we can hope for. Based on the “UNITY” of the local during the past 3 years I would say that is even going to be difficult.
November 4th, 2009 at 7:33 am
Luckily I got my twentyfive in last October and have been able to leave that “abusive spouse.” I haven’t been happier for years.
November 4th, 2009 at 8:05 am
TX ATCS says “This stupe was required to get the first AVAILABLE replacement. HE DID NOT.” Where is this in the contract?
Actually, Article 38, Section 3b. of the new contract says that the “employee may be relieved of an overtime assignment when, in the judgement of the Agency, personal circumstances make it impossible for the employee to perform the overtime duty”. Obviously if he is out of town, it’s impossible for him to work the overtime. I hope the manager of the facility had a nice discussion with FLM involved and makes sure that this doesn’t happen again.
TX ATCS also says, “the stupe failed and should be punished”. So you want people who make mistakes (granted this is a stupid one, DUH!) punished? How about the controller has to send an airplane around because he “failed”? Does he get “punished”? Be careful what you are advocating…..
November 4th, 2009 at 8:24 am
“I tell this story not to embarrass the supervisor”
Maybe a little embarrassment would help motivate him to not do something like this again. We readily throw Minace and Johnson’s names into print, why not this individual, also?
November 4th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Yeah Right,
The stupe is required to fill the shift. That is one of his jobs….IF HE DOES NOT FILL THE OT, HE HAS NOT DONE HIS JOB!!!!!!
Yeah Right says, “Actually, Article 38, Section 3b. of the new contract says that the “employee MAY be relieved of an overtime assignment when, in the judgement of the Agency, personal circumstances make it impossible for the employee to perform the overtime duty”.
Actually, Art. 38, Sec 3b says, “SHALL”, not “may”, “not if”, “gee I hope he makes it in”. It says “SHALL”!!!!
Typical stupe. A controller has not failed when they send an A/C around. Failure is to NOT send the a/c around.
Failure is a stupe filling a OT with someone that cannot make the shift. This stupe should be punished not only for stupidy, but for breaking the CBA.
Bring it on.
November 4th, 2009 at 11:11 am
When we talked about this in my area, right after it happened, one of our guys said that back at Newark Tower they had a local MOU that discussed how to fill needed OT shifts.
He said that it had a provision that said you couldn’t be forced into OT if it fell on RDOs adjacent to any annual leave that you had scheduled.
I said that we had never needed something like that at ZSE because just plain common sense would take hold.
He pointed out that apparently we do need it. Kind of sad.
November 4th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
If they expect us to be avaialable for OT on our days off then they need to pay us for being on standby. But really why would you ever answer your phone on your day off?
November 4th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Yeah right… Says: Be careful what you are advocating…..
Only an oppressive phlem would warn you to be careful when advocating for accountability, fairness, humanity and common sense. Sheesh
November 4th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
An excellent message, Paul. It may be tough for our newest Controllers who never had the opportunity to see any other style of management demonstrated by My Beloved Agency. I hope the rest of our Members help them to learn their rights.
As for the SCT Controller who commented on a perceived lack of unity in that Local – I don’t know how your Local operates, but I do wonder… Have you worked to help correct the problem? Have you volunteered your time (time that could have been spent with family or friends) to to help your Local’s leadership conduct the business of the Union? If so, I stand down. If not, maybe it’s time.
Respectfully,
Colonel/ZFW (Ret.)
November 4th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
In one of our areas the OM actually told FLeMs in a meeting to use white book until they are briefed in ATL(I wonder what IG and taxpayers will think of that colossal waste). That area is actually training a brand new FLeM on white book. If we only could get a recording or hard copy of this order.
November 4th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
“If we only could get a recording or hard copy of this order.”
All covered by FOIA.
November 4th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
“I hope the manager of the facility had a nice discussion with FLM involved and makes sure that this doesn’t happen again.”
He did, and it won’t.
November 4th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Twentyfive years plus and I have never answered the phone if it was the FAA. I listen to the message and call them back if it is in my benefit. As for my kids and wife , God Bless Them, they stuck with the program for all those years also. If they did answer the phone Dad wasn’t home. ATC is my job not my life!
November 5th, 2009 at 11:17 am
How about wejust contract out the FLM job? They really aren’t anything more than paper pushers. The old ones don’t want to work traffic, the new ones don’t know how to work traffic (8 hrs a month does NOTHING for profiency) and those goofy FAA management classes don’t teach anything about dealing with people. I’d rather have somebody with great people skills,and a good dose of common sense who knows ZERO about ATC. At my place we’ve got a new supe with four years total FAA time (all center) trying to skill check people in a tower/tracon ,when he doesn’t even know the rules.It’s difficult to determine how much “UN-training” the ojti has to do afterwards.
November 5th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
The reason that the FAA is at the bottom of the barrel in terms of employee job satisfaction is the abusive FLM at Seattle Center. And the fact that nothing will be done about their stupidity.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
I would have told the idiot supe that you have to see how much it would cost to change my flight and when should you expect a refund of the extra travel expenses. (I would say that if I was only 10 miles away or sitting on my couch.) Then if they get testy about it I would say, sure I will be there then call in the night of. I know people say, you are only screwing your brother by calling in, no I am laying the road for things to come. Simple fact is the agency has a great deal of control over the 40 hours you work per week, they do not own you like the military does during your time off. We have too many issues that REQUIRE us to not be at work.
At ZAB we have been turning in OT in conjunction with annual leave since I can remember. This is including during the dreaded white book years. Simple fact is you can either play nice and let employees turn in overtime they really can not work, or have them call in the day of. It is really simple as that. I actually remember being called while out of town and since we have somewhat reasonable supes, at least in this respect, they said never mind when I told them I was 2,000 miles away. These moronic supes can be trained very much like a stupid dog. rub their noses in the poo they create and they figure it out eventually (I don’t honestly recommend being that cruel to a dog btw. A supe is a much lower form of life, closer to a slug than a dog)
Tell me I HAVE to be there for an overtime after I gave you a reasonable excuse why I can’t.
Then this is what you get from me
1. Car broke down 1,000 miles out
2. Flat tire then flat tire on spare
3. Made it home then got sick from worrying
4. Been up 2 days straight trying to drive twice as far in 1/2 the time I allotted, just to suit you.
5. 2,000 miles away and ticket costs a fortune to change.
6. Slept in car and let wife drive, she drove wrong way for a day (Dumb and dumber) “I thought the Rockies would look more rocky than this!”
7. Just don’t show up
I pick number 7 and let them run that up all the way and see what happens. It will show everybody what a F’ING moron he is. Let this jerk get exposed for the heartless idiot he is. I told him I would not be there and they HAD someone that could have worked the mid, but he chose to go down this path. I would make sure it was on a recorded line when I told him I could not physically make it there by any means. I am 2,000 miles away and my wife can not drive. I will be rolling into town on my second day off and there is no way I can rush it any more than that. By the way did you tell me this phone call was recorded as you are REQUIRED to do when you call from a work number? I can’t remember, either way I want a copy of this recording for NATCA and my lawyer in case he needs it. (Most supes are not even aware they are required to tell the other party that the conversation is being recorded when calling from the desk’s phone, for that matter so are we. It is the SAME law that requires the agency to play that canned recording when you call in.)
November 5th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
“”"Clean house ??? Are you kidding me ??? At SCT the mindless idiotic list of inept supes is endless and guess what???waiting in the wings are more just like them kissing ass hoping they can become one too. Getting rid of these stupid FU%$S is a waste of time. Containing their role in decision making is the best we can hope for. Based on the “UNITY” of the local during the past 3 years I would say that is even going to be difficult.”"”
SCT you need to seek help with a Psychiatrist. All of your post are borderline psychotic with loads of anger against anyone that doesn’t fit your liking. Your disdain for authority is obvious, and you must be a miserable person to be near. Kid yourself all you want, but you are miserable, and people at SCT must despise you !
November 5th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
I really don’t think any of us have a disdain for authority as you put it. I know we need leadership in the FAA, heaven knows we REALLY need people to “step up to the plate” and lead, the problem is the people they are picking are the worst people you could select for many reasons. First of all a $25K-$35K raise is absolutely ridiculous for any minor promotion such as becoming a FLM, yet what would be offered to me is a $4% raise. 25 years as a controller, prior management (Real world) experience and a degree in business management. I have never been afraid to work traffic, 100% of my time has been working traffic, not one day TMU, Office job, NOTHING. Oddly enough THIS HURTS MY CHANCES for promotion! To think I get a 4% pay raise and then have to work with the biggest idiots in the building and be talked down to by OMs that I would not trust running a cookie dough drive is too much for me to handle.
I agree with SCT, but instead of clean house I would say this agency needs an enema. A colonic of the most righteous kind. Yes, most of us are miserable (Go check the best places to work and see how low we rate.) To be honest I could care less anymore. I will retire in a little while but not soon enough. I went through about 6 to 9 months of total misery after labor day Sept 2006 then I decided to take a huge dump and lighten my load of what was bothering me. Now I just watch these little piss ant FLMs run around with their insignificant lives and watch them ruin the next generation of controllers with their abuse, since they know they can’t affect me anymore. I do feel a bit of hurt when I realize I wasted my entire career working for undoubtedly the worst agency in history. If the job was not so rewarding I would have left this miserable agency 24 1/2 years ago.
Great job, world’s worst employer only in the FAA can you get both.
November 5th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Here’s another idea: Think about how well your respective facilities work when the FLMs aren’t around and it’s a CIC running the show. Actually, you don’t even have to do that – we all know that we have absolutely zero need for FLMs. Fraud, Waste, and Abuse line, anyone? Think of all the money the FAA could save by eliminating that entire layer of beauracracy! I bet it would top what the White Book’s controller pay cuts “saved” them… except the work force would be happy and the aisles would all run much smoother.
Pipe dream, maybe, but a damn fine one. I wake up damp every time.
November 6th, 2009 at 6:56 am
no one looks after a controller better than another controller, period.
November 6th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Why would anybody talk on any type of social basis with a supervisor that 80% of the time is okay ? This is about boundries in ones life, I make it a point not to discuss any part of anything in my life that isnt ATC related with any supervisor I cant trust – hmmm 100% of them !!!
It works.
November 6th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
“no one looks after a controller better than another controller, period.”
Some of the deepest, longest-lasting conflicts I know of are not between a controller and a manager, but between two controllers.
November 7th, 2009 at 6:05 am
hay FAA guy how would know what goes on in atc , arent you under you supervisors desk working on your next promotion.
November 7th, 2009 at 7:52 am
Controllers screw their peers everyday, and do more bitching about their buddies then one might ever imagine, but when face to face they back down like little girls. Big tough guy’s just like here on the internet.
Hey Nutts,….is that how you got “your” name. I can see you now honkering down on the snotty end, and then finishing your boyfriend off with his NUTTS ?
November 8th, 2009 at 11:35 am
^^I love it when FAA management chimes in with some inane 4th grade comment. This is your $150k a year goes folks, human debris like this clown.
November 9th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Nobody is screwing the tax payer more than management. Less than a handful of actual work in a work week, how do these people live with themselves.
When weather season or chop season we get with the mountains here rolls around I realize I earn my money no matter how many or few hours I put in during a shift.
The reason most people don’t waste time on telling our “management” to actually be more accountable is our management could care less! Otherwise they would be doing the right thing even though nobody is watching.
Controllers screwing their peers and bitching? They would not be human if they didn’t, something about the toxic work environment that induces that in the best of people. Controllers screwing others over on near nonexistent leave slots and poor shift picks because you have 12 different morning shifts with people assigned morning shifts as late as NOON. You put people on the edge when you take away all the perks you yourself are STILL GETTING as members of management.
Instead of discounting what people are complaining about as “bitching”, lets work in a positive manner to fix some of the most obvious and then see what we have.
Go back to your mine sweeper, you have 35 more hours to put in there this week to earn your $177K a year.
November 11th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Hey seek help, You are the type of mindless idiot I am talking about. Just keep putting your head in the sand.
why don’t you come out to SCT sometime and I will show you what I am talking about. I am not hard to find. Until then why don’t you keep bidding that supe job and STFU.
November 12th, 2009 at 7:12 am
Guys dont waste your time with those goo globbling flems,we know the truth and boy dose it hurt them.
November 19th, 2009 at 9:12 am
“Nobody is screwing the tax payer more than management. Less than a handful of actual work in a work week, how do these people live with themselves.”
We have about 12 more MSS 2 or higher employees assigned to SCT (not all of them atually work in the building) then we did four years ago. And probably 30-40 fewer MSS 1s (controllers/trainees, staff and TMCs). Other than the 50 new hires curently on board, many of whom have zero ATC background and are in various stages of washing out, what’s changed to warrant all of these new mgmt positions ?
Nothing, other than six + years of Blakey and Sturgell, particularly the last three years of the Bush administration, scarfing money from controller’s pockets and using it to to feather their own nests.
How do they live with themselves ? Quite nicely I imagine. Many of them are in the 160-170 K base pay range, seldom if ever work airplanes and spend a fair amount of time (especially the plethora of MSS 3s in the building) ferrying pieces of paper from downstairs to upstairs. A tidy gig to be sure.
The most egregious example…..an SCT controller who resigned back in 1999, took six years off, came back to SCT after a stop in Houston, at a 102 K base, bids and gets a temp FLM, and receives a 58K base pay raise. That’s right, 58K, plus CIP. Add in differentials and that’s about a 72K pay raise on one personnel move.