Battered wife syndrome
Posted by Paul Cox on 4th November 2009
Several years ago, I made the acquaintance of a smart, pretty woman. She was reasonably well adjusted, hard working, loved her children, motivated, and had tons going for her.
She was also an abused wife of an alcoholic jerk.
It mystified me then, and still mystifies me, how people can get themselves into completely dysfunctional relationships and STAY in them for decades. Why don’t they do something? Why don’t they leave? Why can’t they break the cycle of abuse-apology-remorse-abuse-apology-remorse-abuse-apology-remorse?
I think of my friend, who was (thankfully) taking the steps needed to separate from her husband and get herself and her kids into a healthier place in their lives, and I just shake my head. How on earth could it have taken so long?
But you know… it’s easier to say that from the outside, and far harder to see it when you’re in the midst of this situation.
Let me tell you a story.
A supervisor in the FAA gets a phone call; a controller’s family member has died, and the controller needs to take the rest of the week off to deal with the aftermath of family death- funerals to plan, people coming to town, grieving, etc.
Unfortunately, the controller was scheduled for a mid shift (graveyard, from midnight to 8am) and so someone’s got to be forced into that shift. Nobody’s available on the day shift (because of understaffing, but that’s a different post) so they have to get someone to come in on their day off and work overtime.
The supervisor goes through the entire list of “volunteers” for overtime, but can’t get anyone to work it. This means it’s time to involuntarily force someone to work the shift. So the supervisor calls a guy on the list, and the guy is foolish enough to answer the phone call.
Supervisor tells the controller that he’s got OT on the first of his two days off. The controller says “well, that’s going to be tough, because I can’t make it in for that; I’m in another city, on vacation leave, over 1,000 miles away, and I won’t be home until my second day off.”
The supervisor tells the controller “well that’s not my problem, is it? You’re on the shift” and hangs up the phone.
A little more background info here; the NEXT guy on the involuntary list was sitting about 12 feet away from the supervisor at the time, so it could have been as easy as “okay, sorry, didn’t realize you were on vacation, let me get the next guy on the list” and ask him (and he was able to work it).
This almost seems too stupid, too cruel, and too uncaring to think that a supervisor (excuse me, a “front line manager”) would actually do it, right?
Except that it did happen, in my facility, in good old Seattle Center, just a couple of weeks ago.
(The controller was very wise; he just waited a couple of hours, called back in to work where a different supervisor was now in charge, explained the situation, and the much-smarter supervisor took care of the situation.)
And here’s the thing. When I was talking with some folks about this (and almost the entire facility has heard this story by now) one of the things that I said was how I don’t get it. On a personal level, I generally like the supervisor in question. He’s usually friendly, personable, and we chit-chat about stuff.
In other words, he’s usually not a colossal jerk. (Sorry, but there’s really no other way to put it.)
But here’s the thing- I heard myself, defending the supervisor, saying “80 percent of the time, he’s a reasonable guy, but every so often he pulls some incredibly stupid, mean stunt like this…”
And you know what? My friend, the abused wife, would say the same kind of thing about her husband- a guy who drank so much that by the age of 35 his liver was that of a 90-year old and who had a few arrests and several other visits from the cops on his rap sheet. “Oh, he’s not usually a bad guy….”
I tell this story not to embarrass the supervisor (though he should be ashamed of himself) or to put pressure on our facility managers to finally do something to rein the guy in (though they, along with previous managers, have let this kind of thing go with little or no correction in the past) but to illustrate something about controllers and NATCA.
In our relationship with the FAA, we’re all-too-often the battered spouse. We suffer from learned helplessness.
And one of the main things that you should know about learned helplessness is that it means that even when opportunity presents itself for someone to change their situation, they don’t capitalize on that opportunity. They continue to flail around helplessly.
Right now is not a time for NATCA and controllers to be sitting back, happy that we’ve gotten a contract and such. Right now is not the time to rest. Right now is the time to be driving forward, hard, and trying to break the cycle of abuse that we’ve been in.
And this goes for those on the management side of the house, too. FAA managers everywhere need to take this chance to get rid of, or at least seriously correct, those in their ranks who are abusive.
A start has been made. Guys like Joe Miniace and Bruce Johnson have been shunted off into side jobs with little power or responsibility (though why a notorious union-buster like Miniace is even still employed by the FAA is another one of life’s mysteries). But it’s time to do more; it’s time to set the agency onto a course where hard-nosed-but-FAIR managers are encouraged.
Many NATCAvists don’t mind a tough manager, so long as the manager is fair and not blatantly stupid. But stories like the one above are far too common in the FAA; I bet nearly every facility, large and small, has stories like that of managers and supervisors who are on minor power trips or are just plain jerks for unknown reasons.
If the FAA truly intends on dragging itself out of the bottom of the list of federal agencies to work for, now is the time to start drumming those managers either in line or out of the FAA.
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